In Praise of E-Cards

Today, April 13, is my younger grandson's 13th birthday. As is my custom, I have sent him a mildly funny e-card. Period.

This particular manner of acknowledging the grandson birthdays came into use when I realized they weren't getting the real paper cards, money enclosed. Or, if they were getting them, they were instructed not to respond. Or to burn the cards, unread. Or to rip them into tiny pieces of confetti and bury them in the dark of the moon. Who knows what method of disposal that person who makes their decisions for them favors?

As most of us have come to realize, e-cards rock because you get to find out whether the recipient (or some ignorant slut acting on his behalf) opens the card. Don't waste money on betting whether my grandsons open their cards. They don't.

Do I have correct e-mail addresses for them? Who knows? If I send a regular e-mail, I don't get one of those HaHa Sucker, you lose messages. So, somebody has those addresses.

So, he's 13. Soon he will be a bar mitzvah boy - er, become a man (Man?) and therefore be held accountable for his actions. Really? as my friend with the Vishla named Monster, for her cyst-covered body and her relentless Notice Me! attitude, would say, with just that you-are-such-an-idiot sneer in the mix. There is no mitzvah about any of this, including that his religious maturation happens to coincide with Passover. Why is this different from any other rite of passage?